When Eric Palmer came to Augustana College four years ago, he wasn't expecting to fall in love. And he certainly wasn't expecting to be a pioneer when he requested to use the chapel to declare his devotion to his fiance.
But his betrothed is Ethan Tarvin, also a senior at the liberal arts college, which is affiliated with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. When the Rock Island, Ill., school recently decided to allow its chapel to be used for the blessings of same-sex unions, another barrier quietly fell.
"I didn't have to wrestle with this. ... It was a matter of integrity," said President Steve Bahls, citing the school's anti-discrimination policy. "If you say you don't discriminate based on sexual orientation but you can't use our chapel, then you're a hypocrite."
A decade ago, Bahls said he would have rejected such a request. Even if he did agree, he would have faced swarms of angry alumni ? instead of the overwhelming support he received for what is believed to be the first of 26 ELCA colleges nationwide to take such a stand, he said.
Still, the issue of religiously affiliated colleges opening their facilities to same-sex weddings and commitment ceremonies can be tricky for administrators. Some Christian denominations don't recognize gay marriage while others require permission from higher authorities, such as local bishops.
Then, there's the issue of what to even call these rituals. Augustana is a 10-minute drive from Iowa, where same-sex couples can legally tie the knot. Illinois doesn't recognize such unions, though legislation has recently gained momentum and could be taken up in Springfield during the spring session.
For Palmer and Tarvin, their choice of venue for a fall 2013 wedding wasn't about activism, but deep ties to the campus where many life-changing experiences occurred.
"Augustana is just a very sentimental place for us," said Palmer, who met Tarvin in 2011, when he registered him to vote. The two hit it off and got engaged last April Fools' Day.
Said Tarvin: "I met Eric on campus, proposed on campus and it seemed only logical to have the ceremony in the chapel. ... It really represents my personal, professional and religious life."
They took the request to their college pastor, the Rev. Richard Priggie, who was cautiously optimistic, but who said he needed approval from higher up ? which is how the request landed on the president's desk.
In a 2009 statement, the churchwide assembly acknowledged that consensus on this matter doesn't exist in the ELCA and allowed congregations that choose to do so to find ways to recognize and support same-sex, monogamous relationships, according to the Rev. Mark Wilhelm, program director for ELCA colleges.
"The statement acknowledges that members of our church hold various convictions ? and Augustana is reflecting one angle on this," Wilhelm said.
Because the college is affiliated with the ELCA, but not a congregation, the final decision rested with the 58-year-old Bahls. "I asked myself: Is this consistent with church doctrine? Yes. Is it consistent with Augustana's doctrine. Yes. So, to give life to our anti-discrimination policy, I had to make it available to all."
Bahls informed the local bishop and the board of trustees, but did not issue a press release. The news leaked out in November and he braced himself for a firestorm ? which never happened.
"That was probably the biggest surprise is how this has been overwhelmingly accepted ? not unanimously, but for every negative comment, I received a dozen that were positive," said Bahls, who called each critic to discuss his verdict.
It's a far cry from an earlier era at religious colleges, where Scripture-quoting staff made sure that even heterosexual dancing was discouraged and curfews were strictly enforced. Some see Augustana's action as a sign that the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction.
"It's clear that Augustana and the ELCA has made a decision about this that most Christians in the world wouldn't agree with, although you wouldn't know it from this country," said the Rev. Paul Ulring of Lutheran CORE, a conservative umbrella organization.
It's not that the third-generation pastor is against change. In fact, he led the battle for social dancing ? and lost ? at his alma mater, Waldorf College, in 1967. But the lack of outcry over the legitimacy of same-sex unions is "telling," he said.
"It's a sad reality ... those who have objected have left the denomination," Ulring said.
For the newlyweds-to-be, however, the future holds nothing but joy. They'll graduate in May ? Palmer in political science and economics, Tarvin in music education ? and the world is a more welcoming place today than just a few years ago.
Palmer came out at age 15 in a small town in western Illinois. He was routinely ridiculed and one friend's mother even took him to an exorcist, he said.
Life wasn't much easier for Tarvin in suburban Milwaukee. He was raised in the Missouri Synod Lutheran Church, a traditional branch of Lutheranism, and waited until he arrived in Rock Island to live openly gay.
"I was very self-conscious of my sexuality and felt that I would not be welcome in my home congregation," Tarvin said. "I was genuinely surprised at the openness of the Augustana community."
"And now to have our ceremony here is just perfect," Palmer said.
Bahls says other leaders of ELCA-affiliated colleges could follow suit.
"I was first to make this decision because we had a request, but I'd like to think many of my colleagues would make the same decision," he said. "Our society and our colleges are changing and for that, I'm proud to be a symbol."
brubin@tribune.com
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